Let us for the purpose of this experiment imagine that STIs do not exist and that everybody is free to hop into bed with any available mate once the urge comes. Would you take the opportunity?? Would you want to have sex with five to ten partners in a day every time you think about sex and feel vulnerable??
Even though we all have urges, there is an innate desire in us to satisfy these urges with people that we can trust to respect and value our vulnerabilities. The truth is that the urge you feel to have sex and have
it with someone of the opposite gender is a good thing. It shows that you are complete in your creation. But just because we feel we want to do something doesn’t mean we should go ahead and do it.
When I was younger, I always felt a strong urge to buy a gun. Guns were easy to come across in Jos at a time and we lived in an area where they were accessible. Something in me kept telling me to delay that gratification and by the time I was in S.S.S 1, three of my best friends were accused of a robbery they didn’t know anything about, the reason being that they had guns. I watched my friends wished they had delayed their gratification too like I did and some of them never got out alive.
In like manner, I choose to delay the gratification every time I have an opportunity for casual sex. This is because sex is never casual. It is a powerful and important part of our lives and we should treat it that
way. Gina Cloud states that “There are electromagnetic currents that run through our genitals when we have sex and when the pathways are aligned and open, sex becomes sacred and alchemical.” Sex becomes more satisfying, more enjoyable and sex actually can draw you closer to the infinite intelligence that has formed the universe. But for that alignment and openness to exist there must be a heart to heart connection, intimacy, vulnerability, trust and surrender. If you think that this is just ‘aje butter’ talk, there’s science behind that.
If we’re able to figure out whether someone is trust-able with our vulnerability, then when we take the step to get naked with them, the
chances of having an amazing experience sexually go up exponentially. So if you want that amazing feeling you read about in books and to actually experience that satisfaction that you so crave for, it may be worth your while to spend more time building super cool relationships.
Learn to meet people, get interested in people, get them to get interested in you and learn to make them open up to you by opening up to them. But don’t be creepy at it. People will sense when you are trying too hard
to find out about their vulnerabilities. Take time in building relationships as a rule of thumb, I give three to five months. Build more than a couple relationships before deciding which of the relationships is worth becoming a sexual one. In doing so you will have other very trusting relationships you can always depend on.